No More Shame! It’s Time to Pursue Your Destiny!
Admin • December 21, 2016
No More Shame! It’s Time to Pursue Your Destiny!
Shame is defined as a “painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable… (Dictionary.com, 2016).” When someone is covered in shame, they abhor themselves, and speak negatively about their performance. They count themselves out because of what they’ve done and feel like there’s nothing left to their lives. Shame is self-defeat , and we feed it the fuel it needs to hold us back from pursuing our destiny.
Can you picture an infant/toddler learning how to walk? How many times can you see him/her falling and trying to get back up again? Sometimes, you’ll see them cry and even get frustrated because they keep falling and it seems like they’ll never walk. Well, just like this example, we all fall down in life. However, that does not mean that we are to live our lives with our heads down in humiliation and shame. Mistakes are a part of life. Hence, we are wasting precious time living our lives in shame and we need to get back up and begin pursuing our destiny!
I get it; sometimes, we’ve pulled a blunder and really messed up horribly. However, what is sitting around reminiscing about the memory of the past event while sulking in shame going to do for you today? Is it going to contribute to anything you are producing today? Is it going to benefit anyone? I think not .
Now, I want to encourage you with pointers for eliminating shame:
- Forgive Yourself
- a. Okay, you’re guilty as charged. However, you were never promised to do everything right, and life surely didn’t promise you a bed of roses. You are prone to making mistakes and falling as you pursue your destiny. This does not mean that your mistake is the end of you; it simply is revealing what you are made of and has provided a learning opportunity for you.
- Stop feeding the Memory and the Feelings
- a. If you continue to feed the memory, you will accomplish nothing good for yourself or others. In addition, this only contributes to stress,self-pity and depression. In order to overcome shame, you MUST stop travelling down memory lane on your mistakes and regret. You are a better person for getting through what you’ve had to endure, and you’ve learned from it. Now, move forward and focus on how you can contribute to making the world a better place.
- Remind Yourself that Nobody’s Perfect
- a. We are pressured sometimes in society to feel like we have to fit the “American Dream” standard in every area of our lives, and if we fall off of our path towards this, we are outcasts and should chalk up our efforts as vanity. Well, I’m here to remind you that nobody is perfect and everyone has endured shame some time in their lives. However, look at the various people who are in the limelight that are successful, i.e. Bill Gates, Oprah, etc….do you think they’ve been exempt from shame? Of course not, yet, they continue to make a difference in society. If you continue to beat yourself up for falling short and making mistakes, you will only delay your progress. Love yourself again, and put down the shame so you can move forward along with others!
- Begin Looking Ahead for Opportunities to Succeed Past the Shame
- a. The word of focus is now: ADVANCE ! It’s time for you to take off your cloak of shame and advance! Begin planning ahead! Start networking again! Dig out your dreams and ideas and find your spark again! You are still on the earth for a purpose, so it’s time for you to find out that purpose as you land various opportunities. Go forward and succeed past your shame ! Remember, everyday is filled with new mercy and opportunity, so find your mercy and opportunities as you put down your shame!
- Get Back Up Again!
- a. There’s a song that says “If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again!” This is how you defeat shame. Simply, get back up and try again! You cannot do anything about failed efforts and shameful moments. However, you can work towards honor and success. You don’t have to remain in a puddle of shame, sorrow and regret. We need you to get back up and do something great for society! Who knows what will come out of you giving it one more shot? Don’t take your future efforts for granted because anything can happen!
Well, I hope you were able to find some encouragement and direction regarding overcoming shame and moving forward. If you want more information, feel free to read the 4 th Volume my book series “How to Overcome Obstacles From Your Past” for more tips and strategies (Copy this link into your url to order now! http://india-white.com/books/ ). Remember, the best is yet to come for you, so it’s time for you to finally own your future and say, “ NO MORE SHAME! ” Good luck and I wish you the best as you move forward in success!
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Dear Educators, Principals, and School Leaders, I’m excited to share that my latest newsletter has just arrived, filled with inspiring updates, resources, and tools to support your teams and students in building a culture of G.R.I.T.—Growth, Resilience, Intentional Self-Efficacy, and Time Management. As you plan your professional development sessions, conferences, or school events for the upcoming year, I’d love to partner with you. Whether it’s a keynote, workshop, or interactive training, I specialize in helping educators and school communities cultivate grit, equity, and empowerment in ways that are practical, engaging, and transformational. If you’re interested in having me speak at your school, district, or conference, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d be honored to serve your team. You can also explore my speaking topics and G.R.I.T. resources at: www.india-white.com Let’s connect, collaborate, and inspire greatness—together! Here's the link to my newsletter to share: https://www.canva.com/design/DAF_21LSLwQ/sEqABtI7pY0-Gh5vSzQnLg/edit?utm_content=DAF_21LSLwQ&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link2&utm_source=sharebutton Warmly,
Thank You, Nevada Association of School Administrators: Building a Culture of G.R.I.T. Together I want to extend my deepest gratitude to Adam Lane and the Nevada Association of School Administrators (NASA) for the incredible opportunity to speak at your recent conference. It was truly an honor to engage with such passionate, forward-thinking educational leaders who are committed to transforming schools and communities. During our time together, we explored a theme close to my heart: creating a culture of G.R.I.T.—not just in the classroom, but throughout our communities. We unpacked the G.R.I.T. Framework, which focuses on cultivating Growth Mindset, Resilience, Intentional Self-Efficacy, and Time Management in both educators and students. These four pillars are foundational for student success, especially in today’s challenging and ever-evolving educational landscape. We also discussed the critical role educators and school leaders play in modeling and reinforcing these values. From building trusting relationships to ensuring equity and access, educators are the heartbeat of our communities. When we lead with empathy, authenticity, and grit, we empower students to do the same—and we create schools where every learner feels seen, supported, and capable of greatness. To the school leaders, superintendents, and administrators who attended: thank you for your engagement, your insights, and your commitment to building a legacy of perseverance and purpose. I walked away inspired by your stories, your questions, and your unwavering dedication to improving outcomes for all students across Nevada. If you're interested in learning more about the G.R.I.T. Framework or want to access tools like the G.R.I.T. Workbook, I invite you to visit www.india-white.com/what-does-grit-mean-to-you ] And if you missed the session or want to revisit the message, you can also check out my TEDx Talk: The Power of G.R.I.T. Thank you once again, Adam and NASA, for giving me the platform to share this mission and for all you do to champion student success across Nevada and beyond. Let’s continue lifting others as we climb—one gritty step at a time.