No More Shame! It’s Time to Pursue Your Destiny!
Shame is defined as a “painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable… (Dictionary.com, 2016).” When someone is covered in shame, they abhor themselves, and speak negatively about their performance. They count themselves out because of what they’ve done and feel like there’s nothing left to their lives. Shame is self-defeat, and we feed it the fuel it needs to hold us back from pursuing our destiny.
Can you picture an infant/toddler learning how to walk? How many times can you see him/her falling and trying to get back up again? Sometimes, you’ll see them cry and even get frustrated because they keep falling and it seems like they’ll never walk. Well, just like this example, we all fall down in life. However, that does not mean that we are to live our lives with our heads down in humiliation and shame. Mistakes are a part of life. Hence, we are wasting precious time living our lives in shame and we need to get back up and begin pursuing our destiny!
I get it; sometimes, we’ve pulled a blunder and really messed up horribly. However, what is sitting around reminiscing about the memory of the past event while sulking in shame going to do for you today? Is it going to contribute to anything you are producing today? Is it going to benefit anyone? I think not.
Now, I want to encourage you with pointers for eliminating shame:
- Forgive Yourself
- a. Okay, you’re guilty as charged. However, you were never promised to do everything right, and life surely didn’t promise you a bed of roses. You are prone to making mistakes and falling as you pursue your destiny. This does not mean that your mistake is the end of you; it simply is revealing what you are made of and has provided a learning opportunity for you.
- Stop feeding the Memory and the Feelings
- a. If you continue to feed the memory, you will accomplish nothing good for yourself or others. In addition, this only contributes to stress,self-pity and depression. In order to overcome shame, you MUST stop travelling down memory lane on your mistakes and regret. You are a better person for getting through what you’ve had to endure, and you’ve learned from it. Now, move forward and focus on how you can contribute to making the world a better place.
- Remind Yourself that Nobody’s Perfect
- a. We are pressured sometimes in society to feel like we have to fit the “American Dream” standard in every area of our lives, and if we fall off of our path towards this, we are outcasts and should chalk up our efforts as vanity. Well, I’m here to remind you that nobody is perfect and everyone has endured shame some time in their lives. However, look at the various people who are in the limelight that are successful, i.e. Bill Gates, Oprah, etc….do you think they’ve been exempt from shame? Of course not, yet, they continue to make a difference in society. If you continue to beat yourself up for falling short and making mistakes, you will only delay your progress. Love yourself again, and put down the shame so you can move forward along with others!
- Begin Looking Ahead for Opportunities to Succeed Past the Shame
- a. The word of focus is now: ADVANCE! It’s time for you to take off your cloak of shame and advance! Begin planning ahead! Start networking again! Dig out your dreams and ideas and find your spark again! You are still on the earth for a purpose, so it’s time for you to find out that purpose as you land various opportunities. Go forward and succeed past your shame! Remember, everyday is filled with new mercy and opportunity, so find your mercy and opportunities as you put down your shame!
- Get Back Up Again!
- a. There’s a song that says “If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again!” This is how you defeat shame. Simply, get back up and try again! You cannot do anything about failed efforts and shameful moments. However, you can work towards honor and success. You don’t have to remain in a puddle of shame, sorrow and regret. We need you to get back up and do something great for society! Who knows what will come out of you giving it one more shot? Don’t take your future efforts for granted because anything can happen!
Well, I hope you were able to find some encouragement and direction regarding overcoming shame and moving forward. If you want more information, feel free to read the 4th Volume my book series “How to Overcome Obstacles From Your Past” for more tips and strategies (Copy this link into your url to order now! http://india-white.com/books/). Remember, the best is yet to come for you, so it’s time for you to finally own your future and say, “NO MORE SHAME!” Good luck and I wish you the best as you move forward in success!