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Coping with Shame

India White • February 10, 2022

Coping with Shame...

The SHAME of It All- Dr. India White

Mark 8:38- Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.

Question: Wouldn’t it be sad to be a believer, witness or a minister of the gospel, and fall short of acceptance into the gates of heaven because you caused God shame?

Shame is defined in the dictionary as, “a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior” or “a person, action, or situation that brings a loss of respect or honor.” 

To have shame towards someone is to be overall disappointed  with them. This can be caused from their actions, things you’ve heard about them, and even from various unknown and known biases that you may have towards that person for specific or general reasons.

Through shame, people are unfortunately categorized and silenced. They can become the main topic of gossip. Through shame, people are “buried under the rug”. Shame is an emotional demotion in a social group or setting. Nobody likes shame, but there has been much shame dished out by many due to several reasons. However, millions are coping with shame with no way out. How can they be helped?

When esteeming the worth of an individual, leaders look at their background, what they know or heard about their character. Some leaders can categorize people through shame, can unknowingly hurt people. As people cope with shame, they live in hurt and have no answers. Sometimes, it's without cause. 

Through various forms of judgment, shame happens, and rejection enters the picture. Great people who have wonderful hearts endure a silent sense of shame and rejection at the benefit of those around them. Shame can become a burden as they learn to cope with it. Is this right? Of course not.

Through shame, people suffer anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and more. When people who suffer from shame trust in leaders, mentors, pastors, spiritual leaders to help them to start a fresh life, the last thing they should encounter is a sense of shame. They should feel a sense of belonging, a high level of trust, lack of biases, and agape love. However, when leaders are unequipped about how to help others cope, judgement and shame remain in the way. 

I want to take you back to the concept of shame in Mark 8. When shame is present, it does not leave a great impression or after effect that occurs during a meeting or transaction with individuals who are receiving the shame. Shame is never a great feeling, and this is why the Lord himself called out the fact that people who put him through shame while they are on this earth will experience that same amount of shame in judgment. Hence, as leaders, we must be careful to make sure that we are not ashamed of the Lord, and or other believers. Our purpose as believers is to help those who have fallen and are wounded to cope. 

When we are dealing with the people of God, it is vital to handle everyone with caution. Remember, God is spirit. We sometimes forget this and categorize him as American, "one of the boys", or one of the favored that we fellowship with. However, we must be careful that we are not deceived. God is not a respecter of persons, and is not pleased as some saints live under the burden of shame. Could we bring God shame as we interact with believers and are too ashamed to fellowship with them? Could we bring God shame because we are afraid to tell others about our testimony? Or, what about the fact that some are afraid to assist believers and help believers that have fallen, look different from them and more? To be honest, I do think that this partiality is not of God and can cause any believer to fall short. Therefore, we must be careful to protect and build each other. We must be proactive at helping people cope with and overcome a feeling of shame.

If you have been called to lead in the kingdom of God as a part of the 5-fold ministry, you WILL give an account for everyone God sent to you and what you did to BUILD them. If you were ashamed of them because of various reasons, then you WILL have to face GOD. God will allow you to play church games, and please the crowd; but judgement will come. Here are some tips to avoid the judgment of God and escape the shame of it all:

1. Do away with Biases
a. We all have biases; however, we must be intentional as believers to put these behind us. Take a look at Harvard’s implicit bias test and see what biases you have. Then, follow a plan of action to help you with becoming fair towards EVERYONE.

2. Humble yourself
a. Just because you have been esteemed into a role of ministry or leadership does not mean that you will escape the judgement of God. Scripture says in Luke 12:48 that to “whom much is given, much is required.” 

3. Embrace Differences
a. Whether diversity, socioeconomic differences, academic differences and more, choose to embrace the good in everyone that God brings to you. Be delivered from the mindset that these people “don’t matter” more than those people. 

4. Pray About Change
a. Sometimes, God can send so many people that you don’t know where to begin. Pray about how to do the will of God towards everyone and how you can cultivate change for the good. 

5. Forgive Shortcomings, Pick up Empathy
a. It can be tough to forgive people who "know better" for character flaws, and mishaps in life. However, through forgiveness and empathy, the love of God can begin to warm your heart as you assist them in becoming all that God has designed for them to be. Scripture states in Romans 3:23 that "all have sinned and come short of the glory of God."

I hope that you can be strengthened and encouraged as you look to escape ministry out of a lens of shame towards others, and how you can be successful in the kingdom of God as you accept everyone. In doing so, may you also escape the shame of it all while restoring believers in the kingdom of God. May we all hear well done, and not be greeted in shame as we face the Lord.

By India White April 3, 2025
### April Newsletter: A Month of Grit and Growth April is here, and it’s shaping up to be an exciting month filled with powerful opportunities to build grit, inspire educators, and impact students. From conferences to new resources, I’m thrilled to share what’s happening this month and how you can get involved. Speaking at MCTM’s Annual Math Conference in Minnesota I’m honored to present at the Minnesota Council of Teachers of Mathematics Annual Conference this month, where I’ll be diving into how to create a Gritty Thinking Classroom. In this session, we’ll explore how the G.R.I.T. framework aligns with Peter Liljedahl’s Building Thinking Classrooms, helping educators develop a culture of perseverance, resilience, and self-efficacy in their math students. If you’re attending, I’d love to connect and discuss ways to empower students through productive struggle. G.R.I.T. Workbooks and Resources The G.R.I.T. Workbook series continues to grow, providing teachers, students, and parents with practical tools to develop growth mindset, resilience, and time management. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your own grit or help students push through challenges, these workbooks offer actionable strategies to build confidence and perseverance. G.R.I.T. Online Courses and Masterclass For those looking to take a deeper dive into grit, we’re rolling out G.R.I.T. online courses and mini-workshops designed to help educators and leaders implement grit-based strategies in their schools and classrooms. Stay tuned for our Masterclass, which will provide an interactive learning experience on how to cultivate grit in both personal and professional settings. G.R.I.T. Podcast: Conversations That Inspire The G.R.I.T. Podcast continues to feature insightful conversations with educators, leaders, and changemakers who are passionate about building perseverance and resilience. Each episode offers motivation and strategies to help you stay committed to your goals and push through challenges. Be sure to tune in for inspiring discussions that fuel personal and academic growth. Stay Connected If you’re looking for more ways to engage with the G.R.I.T. movement, be sure to check out: - www.india-white.com – Explore my work, speaking engagements, and resources - www.gritacademy.us – Learn about G.R.I.T. Academy, where we help students and educators develop the skills they need to thrive This month is all about embracing grit, growth, and resilience. Whether through conferences, podcasts, or online learning, I’m excited to continue this journey with you. Let’s keep pushing forward and building a culture of perseverance together. Stay gritty and keep striving for greatness!
By India White April 3, 2025
Excited to Speak at MCTM’s Annual Math Conference: Building a Gritty Thinking Classroom! I can’t wait to present at MCTM’s Annual Math Conference this April in Minnesota. This opportunity is truly special because I’ll be diving into two of my passions—grit and Building Thinking Classrooms—to help educators create Gritty Thinking Classrooms that foster resilience, problem-solving, and perseverance in students. Why Grit Matters in the Math Classroom Math is not just about numbers and equations; it’s about persistence, self-efficacy, and growth mindset. So many students struggle with productive struggle, but when we intentionally build grit, they learn how to push through challenges rather than give up. By implementing Dr. India White’s G.R.I.T. framework, we help students: - Develop a growth mindset - Build resilience in problem-solving - Strengthen self-efficacy - Improve time management and perseverance Connecting Grit with Building Thinking Classrooms Peter Liljedahl’s Building Thinking Classrooms has transformed the way we engage students in math learning. When we merge BTC structures with grit, we create an environment where students: - Tackle challenging problems head-on - Collaborate with peers to build understanding - Learn to embrace struggle as part of growth - Develop confidence in their ability to succeed In my session, we’ll explore how BTC’s 14 elements align with grit and how teachers can create a culture of perseverance in their classrooms. See You in Minnesota! If you’re attending MCTM’s Annual Math Conference, I’d love to connect. Let’s talk about how to empower students to think, struggle, and grow. Together, we can build Gritty Thinking Classrooms that transform how students learn and engage with mathematics. Let’s get gritty! See you soon in Minnesota!
By India White March 25, 2025
๐ŸŒŸ Excited to share my VCTM recap video! ๐ŸŽฅ Join me as I engage with teachers during my keynote, discussing strategies to best support our 8th grade math students. Together, we can make a difference! ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ“š Check it out and let’s keep the conversation going! #drindiawhite #nctm #ncsm #vctm #vermont #nabse #naacp #education #doe
By India White March 25, 2025
Reflection on The Power of Grit Keynote to Vermont Teachers Speaking to the dedicated educators of Vermont about the Power of Grit was an inspiring and reaffirming experience. As I shared the pillars of grit—Growth Mindset, Resilience, Time Management, and Self-Efficacy—it was evident that these concepts resonated deeply with the teachers in the room. Their commitment to fostering perseverance and confidence in their students was both heartening and energizing. Throughout the keynote, I emphasized the transformative role of a growth mindset—how students who embrace challenges and see effort as a path to mastery are more likely to persist through difficulties. I could see educators nodding in agreement as they reflected on their own students' struggles and triumphs. Encouraging students to reframe failure as a learning opportunity is a crucial shift that builds not just better mathematicians, writers, and thinkers but also more resilient individuals. Resilience was another cornerstone of the discussion. I shared stories and strategies to help students push past obstacles and develop the endurance needed to navigate academic and personal challenges. The engagement in the room reaffirmed that teachers, too, are models of resilience, especially in today’s educational climate. One of the most practical elements of the keynote focused on time management—helping students (and educators) break down overwhelming tasks, set realistic goals, and prioritize effectively. The response to this section showed that time management remains a crucial skill, not only for students learning to structure their studies but also for teachers juggling multiple responsibilities. Finally, we explored the power of self-efficacy, that deep-seated belief that one’s efforts lead to success. We discussed ways to cultivate this mindset in students through intentional feedback, scaffolding, and celebrating small wins. Seeing the teachers reflect on how they could implement these strategies in their classrooms was incredibly rewarding. This keynote reaffirmed my belief that grit is not just a personal trait—it’s a culture that educators can foster in their classrooms, schools, and communities. Vermont’s educators left the session with new insights, actionable strategies, and a renewed commitment to equipping students with the perseverance and confidence needed for success. I am grateful for the opportunity to share this message, and I look forward to seeing the impact of their work in cultivating grit across the state. Thanks Vermont Rockstars. Stay gritty!
By India White March 25, 2025
โœจ I had a phenomenal time speaking for the VCTM Rockstars in Vermont! We dove into how to reach all learners and stay motivated through grit. ๐Ÿ’ช I can't wait to see the results from the grit assessment and framework! Stay gritty, y’all! ๐ŸŒŸ #drindiawhite #vctm #vermont #grit #educators #math
By India White March 25, 2025
๐ŸŒจ๏ธ Greetings from Vermont! Loving the beautiful snow! โ„๏ธ Can’t wait to get gritty with all you rockstars! Let’s do this! ๐Ÿ’ชโœจ #drindiawhite #grit #vermont #math #teachers #snow #nctm #ncsm #bwxme #nabse
By India White March 18, 2025
๐ŸŒŸ Super excited to announce that I’ll be the keynote speaker at the VCTM Annual Conference in beautiful Vermont! ๐ŸŽ‰ Huge thanks to the amazing VCTM rockstars for this incredible opportunity! Let’s dive into the power of grit together! ๐Ÿ’ชโœจ I can’t wait to share insights and connect with fellow educators, students, and math enthusiasts. Join us by registering below: https://vctm.wildapricot.org/event-5950535 Let’s make this an unforgettable experience! #drindiawhite #grit #tedx #vctm #teachers #students #math (I don’t own music copyright)
By India White March 18, 2025
Join us on the Let's Get Gritty Podcast with Dr. India White, featuring special guest Heidi Diercks, a retired educator, and life coach! Check out Heidi's coaching nuggets here :chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0?ui=2&ik=89c50e1d3a&attid=0.1&permmsgid=msg-f:1826500568311074330&th=19590896f43b0e1a&view=att&zw&disp=inline&acrobatPromotionSource=GmailNativeViewer Watch on Spotify: https://creators.spotify.com/.../Lets-Get-Gritty-Podcast... #drindiawhite #grit #tedx #lifecoach #education
By India White March 18, 2025
๐ŸŒŸ Super grateful to announce that I’ve been selected to speak at FCTM this year! ๐ŸŽ‰ Let’s dive into the topic of grit and its importance in education! ๐Ÿ’ชโœจ Be sure to register by visiting their website. A huge thank you to the FCTM leaders for this incredible opportunity! ๐Ÿ™Œ #DrIndiaWhite #Grit #TEDx #Math #Educators #Teachers #Students #FCTM #NCTM #NCSM
By India White March 18, 2025
๐ŸŽ‰ Super excited to announce that I've been accepted to speak at the NCTM Annual Conference in Atlanta this October! To God be the glory! ๐Ÿ™Œ I can't wait to share my insights on grit and how it can transform our approach to education. Join us and register today! Let's make this an unforgettable experience! ๐Ÿ’ชโœจ #NCTM #NCSM #BWXME #Grit #DrIndiaWhite #TEDx #NABSE NCTM - National Council of Teachers of Mathematics NCSM: Leadership in Mathematics Education
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