Stop Comparing Sis!

It’s the end of the year and so many of us have had phenomenal moments and some of us have had our worst nightmares come to pass.
Many ladies have began thier businesses, some profitting up to six figures. Congratualtions! Others have found love and got married or are on their way to be married. Congratulations! Some of your rockstars have embraced motherhood for the first time or all over again. Congratuations. Many of us have graduated from college, wrote our first book, and so much more. Congratulations to all of it!
Now, it has been a wild season given this pandemic, and some of you have not been able the celebrate the successes of your life. Why? Because you’ve been comparing yourself with your neighbor. Stop it sis! Listen, the grass always looks greener on the other side. However, until you actual live on the other side, you won’t truly understand the ups and downs that also come with the other side. We must do better in the years to come. Here are some strategies to help you to stop comparing so you can enjoy your life:
1. Don’t be Jealous or Envious
!- Listen, jealousy and envy have been killing since the beginning of time. Cain killed Abel over his sacrfice. This same principle is still taking place today. Ladies are sabbotaging the efforts of their sisters and business partners because they can sense their greatness. Instead of helping and encouraging, there’s gossip, slander, and malice taking place behind the scenes. Some of you wish you had the life of your sister. However, I want to challenge you to take a step back and think of their life and what you have. Think of reasons why you should be grateful. For example, your sister or girlfriend many have profited six figures in her business; but, she doesn’t have children and always wanted them. Or, your girlfriend may have just entered into a relationship, but she doesn’t have the college degrees that you have and always wanted to go back to school. You may observe your friends have children and you don’t have any; but they don’t have the home you have. Your friend may appear to have EVERYTHING; but maybe they are not happy inside. You see, this list can go on and on forever. The truth is, everyone has something they wish they could change about their life; so, choose to be happy for others and be grateful. Think about it: if you are truly happy, you won’t have time to pull others down with what you say, how you treat them, or actions you take maliciously against them. Don’t compare and don’t hate; be happy!
2. Stop Blaming!– Everyday, we can find a reason to play the victim towards our setbacks in life. We can always say that we didn’t succeed in school because we didn’t have the support from home. Or, we didn’t start our business because we got bogged down with life. We can say that because others took advantage of us, stole our ideas, and even sabbotaged some things, we have been stuck in a rut, and that’s just how the cookie crumbled. I want you to know that I truly empathize; however, it’s time to forgive, release, and start over! When we continue to blame, we are focusing our energy on a dead end road. Nothing will transpire from this, and we must make an intentional effort to move forward with our lives. Blaming others will provide a bit of relief, but it will not open doors for you. It will not bring justice to your situaiton. You just have to learn to let go and move forward from where you left off in your success. However, let this encourage you: “Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord; I WILL repay.” They are not getting by; He’s just patient, but be encouraged because he has not forgotten you!
3. Let Go of Fear!– We have heard the cliche that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. Hence, we must choose to let go of fear and anxiety in order to truly succeed. Sometimes we hold ourselves back by our thought processes. We must recognize what blocking our path to success and choose to remove it from our lives. Sometimes there is the question of “What if?”, where we think of all of the things that can go wrong. I want to challenge you to replace that question with , “Why not?” Why not try that idea? Why not write that book? Why not start that business? You only live once on this side, so all you have to lose is time and opportunity to shine. It’s time to go for it!
4. Help Others Like You Want to Be Helped! – It is simply better to give than it is to receive. Hence, if you find yourself comparing, maybe you should go and help others. There are so many ways you can pay it forward today. Take advantage of these opportunties in your community to make your mark on those around you that need you.
5. Go for MORE!– If you have looked at the status of your life and have a desire to do more, maybe you should just go after more. Maybe there are some dreams that have laid dormant inside of you that you should consider in the new year. Don’t ask for permission; just do it! Just go for more and find a group of leaders who are like you that can support you as you support them. Find those that speak your passion, and figure out a way to make synergy a reality! Go for more opportunities!
6. Find Support! – I think that this season, we all realized that we can do it alone. We must be there for others while finding support for ourselves as well. If you really want to write a book, start a business, or go back to school, find those who have done it that have good spirit towards you, and ask for help. It’s never too late to get help! So, go out there and find support! Whether you google for help, or go to social media, you CAN find the support you need.
7. Celebrate YOUR Success!- Sometimes, we can be so hard on ourselves that we forget to celebrate our success. We can get so caught up in looking at what others have accomplished, and trying to figure out exactly what we’ve done, that we don’t celebrate at all. Some of you were successful because you took care of loved ones during a pandemic. That might seem minor to you, but those loved ones may not have been around if it wasn’t for your phone calls, cooked meals, hospital visits and more. Others of you graduate from school, and although that might not seem like a big deal, your education is something nobody can take away from you, and you ought to be proud of that. Many of you wrote a book and started businesses. Even if you are not where you aspire to be, you are making progress and it’s something to celebrate.
To conclude, I hope you can take courage as you continue to soar day by day. Remember, there will always be good days and bad days. Somebody will always have issues with you and somebody will be competing with you as long as you are a success. So, don’t complain about it, and don’t compare your neighbor’s grass to yours. Choose to be grateful for all you’ve accomplished this year, and aim to be greater than yourself in the years to come.
Dr. India White

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