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Say YES to YOU= NO to ABUSE!
India White • December 11, 2022
Say YES to YOU= NO to ABUSE!
Say YES to YOU = NO to ABUSE!- Dr. India White
So many times in life, it is tempting to desire to belong. We want to feel accepted. We’d like to be included in the next chapter of events. However, once we leave various functions, we feel like we’ve failed ourselves. Why? Well, we knew we would be mocked, or the laugh of the party. We’d be bullied by the same old individuals who act as if they were born GOD over us. Then, we endure the consequences throughout the week, ranging from being misunderstood, ripped off, and emotionally torn. WHY do we continue to put ourselves in harm’s way? It’s as if we hope that the same people who we know will hurt us will miraculously change and offer us that magical opportunity. Or, that person who never acknowledges your worth will some day make you see how much they value you. Come on now! When will this end? Answer: as soon as you say YES to you!
I have been honored to work with thousands of leaders from across the world. One thing never lies: how they make you feel and the accolades they give you in person and behind your back are one in the same. Sometimes, people will smile in your face while holding daggers of jealousy, malice, envy, greed, racism and more. You must learn to STOP
smiling in their face, and care enough about your self-worth, your family and your destiny to grow beyond their approval. Ask yourself, “What benefit has this truly served me, my business, or my family?” If you are struggling to find that answer, then let that struggle be your truth.
It's hard to swallow the truth that you’ve allowed yourself to be abused. Whether financially, emotionally, or spiritually, you believed in people who had no good intentions towards you. And yes, they got away with it….until judgment day. However, continue to focus on the good in life and learn to forgive and….LET GO! Fall OUT
of love with your abuser. STOP giving them front row access to your life. Even if you have to start over and unplug for a season from the fakery, do it. You were not destined to be someone else’s laughingstock, punching bag, or joke of the party. You have JUST AS MUCH value as they do! Now walk in it and refuse to go back to their shenanigans!
Here are some sure signs that you need to walk away and say YES to YOU:
1. They belittle you because of your race, upbringing or status in life
a. Some people have a way of trying to make you feel like you are worthless through their gaze, or comments they make about your appearance and more. They’ll give this gaze
as if they are looking down upon you like you are a peasant. They may comment about your outfit, your name, or your accolades in a way that says, “Oh well, you’re nothing so, whatever….lol!” You must learn how to not take this form of hatred personal. Some of these leaders have seen your worth, and they know what you have to offer. It’s interfered with how they felt about themselves. Unfortunately, it’s caused this type of a response. Go and be great beyond their gaze and the hatred that may come from them.
2. You ALWAYS get the short end of the stick
a. Unfortunately yes, it will always be the short end of the stick. And, it will dangle like a carrot over your head. This is a part of dealing with abuse. Did you think your abuser would have it any other way? Well, I’m here to tell you, this is part of the deal when working with individuals or establishing a relationship with someone who is NOT
for you or your well-being.
3. You feel like they are choking the life out of you
a. You will literally give the shirt off of your back for this individual or these people, because that is your nature. You love to pay it forward. Or, in a relationship, you are a Giver and they are the TAKER. Listen, when they do help you, you BETTER
pay them back or else they will remind you of how they helped you every waking second. They will place unrealistic demands on you, and won’t ever utter “Thank you”, because they are entitled to receive everything from you. In their eyes, they pretty much “own you”.
4. When you succeed, they go QUIET as if in mourning
a. Some people can like your posts if you are sick, mourning, or just lost your job. But, don’t open that business, write that book, or cross over into a promotion. It will turn them sick to their stomach because they are s till COMPARING themselves to you. You are their competition. They used you to step up…. never as a companion or a true friend or business partner. These people have ugly souls, and they are slowly rotting away because they refuse to get self-help and learn how to mature beyond basic emotions.
5. Every time you invest in them, you never benefit
a. Have you ever looked back and thought, “Well I’ve invested hundreds/thousands of dollars into this….where is my return on investment?” Guess what? It isn’t coming. Sorry to spit the truth, but sometimes you have to unplug because you will give your last into their traps. Unfortunately, many people never catch on it time, and end up on a roller coaster of chasing that wild dream, or getting caught up into various schemes. Choose to come out of empty promises, and move forward in your life.
6. When you give them your BEST, it is never good enough
a. Listen, as sad as this is, it is the truth. I’ve spent YEARS as a speaker, consultant, author, and after much success, there are still people in the market who deemed me as not good enough. These type of people will never promote you, offer you an opportunity, pay you what you are worth, or see your value. YOU ARE WASTING your time. It’s time for you to WAKE UP
and smell the coffee. Sometimes, you need to change your environment so you can LIVE and be celebrated and stop dealing with those who tolerate you.
Conclusion
Once you have decided that you want to truly live a quality life, take a moment to invest in yourself. Avoid those who belittle you because of your race. Refuse to do business if you’re always getting the short end of the stick. If they are choking the life out of you, choose to walk away. Find those who you can invest with and actually see the benefit. Find those who will celebrate your wins and will appreciate your best. Choose to put yourself first. It’s your time to win.
Forgiveness: Walking in G.R.I.T. and Grace Forgiveness isn't for the faint of heart. It takes G.R.I.T.—Growth Mindset, Resilience, Self-Efficacy, and Time Management—to truly walk in forgiveness, especially when you've been wronged, mistreated, or misunderstood. But there's no greater example of gritty forgiveness than Jesus Himself. As He hung on the cross—suffering, bleeding, and abandoned—He didn’t curse His enemies. He didn’t demand justice in that moment. Instead, He looked toward heaven and said: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Let that sink in. The very people who had betrayed, mocked, beaten, and crucified Him were the ones He forgave. And He did it in real time, while the pain was still fresh. That’s Great Resilience In Time. And as followers of Christ, we’re called to do the same. We’re called to forgive those who have: • Abused us—physically, emotionally, or spiritually • Slandered us behind our backs • Taken advantage of our kindness • Lied to us, hurt us, or wronged us in ways words can’t capture Forgiveness doesn’t mean the pain was okay. It doesn’t mean you return to harmful situations. But it does mean we release people into God’s hands. We stop carrying the weight of bitterness. And we trust that nobody gets by—God is just, but He is also merciful. “I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” — Luke 5:32 God operates in mercy—not because people always deserve it, but because His heart is for restoration. And if we want God to operate in mercy toward us, we must be willing to pray that same mercy over those who have hurt us. Hence, I want to share with you 5 Tips for Operating in Forgiveness Through G.R.I.T. and Grace: 1. Growth Mindset: Choose to Learn, Not Linger Instead of replaying the pain, ask God what He wants to teach you through it. Every hurt can become holy ground if we allow it to transform us instead of trap us. Forgiveness is a chance to grow. Even when you find yourself lingering in the memories and wondering "What if?", choose to use the moments of hurt as an opportunity to heal and evolve into a greater version of you. 2. Resilience: Bounce Back with God’s Strength Resilience doesn’t mean you don’t feel the pain—it means you refuse to let it define you. Forgiveness builds spiritual stamina. Each time you choose grace, you build strength in your spirit. The enemy wanted that trial, setback, dissapointment to cause you to give up on God and yourself. However, you must believe that no weapon formed against you shall propser. Never allow Satan to take away your song or your purpose, no matter the weapon or vessel he chooses to attack you through. 3. Self-Efficacy: Believe You Can Forgive with God’s Help Forgiveness may feel impossible—but with God, you can do all things. Self-efficacy is about believing in your ability to move forward. Speak life over yourself: "With God’s help, I can forgive." This is not always an easy process but you can do it! Choose to speak positively about your situation. Tell God that you forgive them and take moments to think about what Jesus must have felt at the cross as he died for you. Sometimes, we are made to emulate the light of Christ so that others will have HOPE. That means we must be willing to be curicifed at thier hands for the Glory of God. However, be encouraged, for the Lord will restore you. 4. Time Management: Don’t Waste Time on Bitterness Bitterness drains energy and time. Let forgiveness help you refocus your time and emotional energy toward purpose, healing, and joy. Steward your time wisely—it’s too precious to spend in bondage. Take time for self-care. Cry it out, seek therapy, have an outlet that will help you develop and heal and mature in a healthy fashion. Understand that all of us fall short; people will most likely dissapoint you, so flow in grace. 5. Great Resilience In Time: Forgive Even When It Still Hurts Forgiveness is often a process, not a one-time event. It requires Great Resilience In Time —the ability to keep choosing grace, even when the pain is fresh. Jesus forgave while He was still on the cross. We, too, can learn to forgive even while healing. Through your forgiveness you'll find revelation that will bring your closer to your heavenly Father. Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts you can give—to others, yes, but also to yourself. It frees your heart. It releases your soul. It makes space for God to heal what others tried to break. Jesus didn’t wait for an apology. He forgave in real time—with G.R.I.T. and grace. So today, let’s strive to do the same. Let’s live with: • A growth mindset that says, “God can use even this.” • Resilience that says, “I will not be broken.” • Self-efficacy that says, “I can do this with God.” • Time management that says, “I will not waste one more second holding a grudge.” Let’s walk in Great Resilience In Time and extend the same mercy we so desperately need. Because forgiveness isn’t weakness. It’s worship. So, wipe you tears, forgive, reset, start over, and thrive through G.R.I.T. and Grace. Love, India Want more? Visit www.india-white.com to schedule a meeting or book me for an event. Want a copy of the Grit Workbook for Clergy (Pastors) Click here!
### April Newsletter: A Month of Grit and Growth April is here, and it’s shaping up to be an exciting month filled with powerful opportunities to build grit, inspire educators, and impact students. From conferences to new resources, I’m thrilled to share what’s happening this month and how you can get involved. Speaking at MCTM’s Annual Math Conference in Minnesota I’m honored to present at the Minnesota Council of Teachers of Mathematics Annual Conference this month, where I’ll be diving into how to create a Gritty Thinking Classroom. In this session, we’ll explore how the G.R.I.T. framework aligns with Peter Liljedahl’s Building Thinking Classrooms, helping educators develop a culture of perseverance, resilience, and self-efficacy in their math students. If you’re attending, I’d love to connect and discuss ways to empower students through productive struggle. G.R.I.T. Workbooks and Resources The G.R.I.T. Workbook series continues to grow, providing teachers, students, and parents with practical tools to develop growth mindset, resilience, and time management. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your own grit or help students push through challenges, these workbooks offer actionable strategies to build confidence and perseverance. G.R.I.T. Online Courses and Masterclass For those looking to take a deeper dive into grit, we’re rolling out G.R.I.T. online courses and mini-workshops designed to help educators and leaders implement grit-based strategies in their schools and classrooms. Stay tuned for our Masterclass, which will provide an interactive learning experience on how to cultivate grit in both personal and professional settings. G.R.I.T. Podcast: Conversations That Inspire The G.R.I.T. Podcast continues to feature insightful conversations with educators, leaders, and changemakers who are passionate about building perseverance and resilience. Each episode offers motivation and strategies to help you stay committed to your goals and push through challenges. Be sure to tune in for inspiring discussions that fuel personal and academic growth. Stay Connected If you’re looking for more ways to engage with the G.R.I.T. movement, be sure to check out: - www.india-white.com – Explore my work, speaking engagements, and resources - www.gritacademy.us – Learn about G.R.I.T. Academy, where we help students and educators develop the skills they need to thrive This month is all about embracing grit, growth, and resilience. Whether through conferences, podcasts, or online learning, I’m excited to continue this journey with you. Let’s keep pushing forward and building a culture of perseverance together. Stay gritty and keep striving for greatness!
Excited to Speak at MCTM’s Annual Math Conference: Building a Gritty Thinking Classroom! I can’t wait to present at MCTM’s Annual Math Conference this April in Minnesota. This opportunity is truly special because I’ll be diving into two of my passions—grit and Building Thinking Classrooms—to help educators create Gritty Thinking Classrooms that foster resilience, problem-solving, and perseverance in students. Why Grit Matters in the Math Classroom Math is not just about numbers and equations; it’s about persistence, self-efficacy, and growth mindset. So many students struggle with productive struggle, but when we intentionally build grit, they learn how to push through challenges rather than give up. By implementing Dr. India White’s G.R.I.T. framework, we help students: - Develop a growth mindset - Build resilience in problem-solving - Strengthen self-efficacy - Improve time management and perseverance Connecting Grit with Building Thinking Classrooms Peter Liljedahl’s Building Thinking Classrooms has transformed the way we engage students in math learning. When we merge BTC structures with grit, we create an environment where students: - Tackle challenging problems head-on - Collaborate with peers to build understanding - Learn to embrace struggle as part of growth - Develop confidence in their ability to succeed In my session, we’ll explore how BTC’s 14 elements align with grit and how teachers can create a culture of perseverance in their classrooms. See You in Minnesota! If you’re attending MCTM’s Annual Math Conference, I’d love to connect. Let’s talk about how to empower students to think, struggle, and grow. Together, we can build Gritty Thinking Classrooms that transform how students learn and engage with mathematics. Let’s get gritty! See you soon in Minnesota!
🌟 Excited to share my VCTM recap video! 🎥 Join me as I engage with teachers during my keynote, discussing strategies to best support our 8th grade math students. Together, we can make a difference! 💪📚 Check it out and let’s keep the conversation going! #drindiawhite #nctm #ncsm #vctm #vermont #nabse #naacp #education #doe
Reflection on The Power of Grit Keynote to Vermont Teachers Speaking to the dedicated educators of Vermont about the Power of Grit was an inspiring and reaffirming experience. As I shared the pillars of grit—Growth Mindset, Resilience, Time Management, and Self-Efficacy—it was evident that these concepts resonated deeply with the teachers in the room. Their commitment to fostering perseverance and confidence in their students was both heartening and energizing. Throughout the keynote, I emphasized the transformative role of a growth mindset—how students who embrace challenges and see effort as a path to mastery are more likely to persist through difficulties. I could see educators nodding in agreement as they reflected on their own students' struggles and triumphs. Encouraging students to reframe failure as a learning opportunity is a crucial shift that builds not just better mathematicians, writers, and thinkers but also more resilient individuals. Resilience was another cornerstone of the discussion. I shared stories and strategies to help students push past obstacles and develop the endurance needed to navigate academic and personal challenges. The engagement in the room reaffirmed that teachers, too, are models of resilience, especially in today’s educational climate. One of the most practical elements of the keynote focused on time management—helping students (and educators) break down overwhelming tasks, set realistic goals, and prioritize effectively. The response to this section showed that time management remains a crucial skill, not only for students learning to structure their studies but also for teachers juggling multiple responsibilities. Finally, we explored the power of self-efficacy, that deep-seated belief that one’s efforts lead to success. We discussed ways to cultivate this mindset in students through intentional feedback, scaffolding, and celebrating small wins. Seeing the teachers reflect on how they could implement these strategies in their classrooms was incredibly rewarding. This keynote reaffirmed my belief that grit is not just a personal trait—it’s a culture that educators can foster in their classrooms, schools, and communities. Vermont’s educators left the session with new insights, actionable strategies, and a renewed commitment to equipping students with the perseverance and confidence needed for success. I am grateful for the opportunity to share this message, and I look forward to seeing the impact of their work in cultivating grit across the state. Thanks Vermont Rockstars. Stay gritty!
✨ I had a phenomenal time speaking for the VCTM Rockstars in Vermont! We dove into how to reach all learners and stay motivated through grit. 💪 I can't wait to see the results from the grit assessment and framework! Stay gritty, y’all! 🌟 #drindiawhite #vctm #vermont #grit #educators #math
🌨️ Greetings from Vermont! Loving the beautiful snow! ❄️ Can’t wait to get gritty with all you rockstars! Let’s do this! 💪✨ #drindiawhite #grit #vermont #math #teachers #snow #nctm #ncsm #bwxme #nabse
🌟 Super excited to announce that I’ll be the keynote speaker at the VCTM Annual Conference in beautiful Vermont! 🎉 Huge thanks to the amazing VCTM rockstars for this incredible opportunity! Let’s dive into the power of grit together! 💪✨ I can’t wait to share insights and connect with fellow educators, students, and math enthusiasts. Join us by registering below: https://vctm.wildapricot.org/event-5950535 Let’s make this an unforgettable experience! #drindiawhite #grit #tedx #vctm #teachers #students #math (I don’t own music copyright)
Join us on the Let's Get Gritty Podcast with Dr. India White, featuring special guest Heidi Diercks, a retired educator, and life coach! Check out Heidi's coaching nuggets here :chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0?ui=2&ik=89c50e1d3a&attid=0.1&permmsgid=msg-f:1826500568311074330&th=19590896f43b0e1a&view=att&zw&disp=inline&acrobatPromotionSource=GmailNativeViewer Watch on Spotify: https://creators.spotify.com/.../Lets-Get-Gritty-Podcast... #drindiawhite #grit #tedx #lifecoach #education
🌟 Super grateful to announce that I’ve been selected to speak at FCTM this year! 🎉 Let’s dive into the topic of grit and its importance in education! 💪✨ Be sure to register by visiting their website. A huge thank you to the FCTM leaders for this incredible opportunity! 🙌 #DrIndiaWhite #Grit #TEDx #Math #Educators #Teachers #Students #FCTM #NCTM #NCSM