Forgiving Your Oppressor!!

India White • December 10, 2021

Forgive Injustice, Heal, Move Forward!

Forgiving Your Oppressor- Dr. India White


To oppress is defined as, “keep (someone) in subservience and hardship, especially by the unjust exercise of authority.” Oppressors are seen as task masters, abusers, merciless individuals who will rarely show compassion. Oppressors see their victims as slaves, not on their level, worthy of punishment, abuse and even death. Oppressors will oppress you for various reasons including gender, age, skin color, disability, beliefs, socioeconomic status and more. Just know that no matter what the reason is, this has been their role in your life and in order to overcome, you must forgive them.


Intention of Your Oppressor

The main role of your oppressor is to destroy you. Whether that is through intimidation, abuse, injustice and even death, your oppressor will not stop until they are satisfied with their passive or aggressive oppression, they’ve placed upon you. For instance, looking at the story of Egyptians in slavery in the Bible days, they were enslaved for 400 years. When Moses came to deliver them, Pharoah decided to make their work more cumbersome, and took away the resources they needed to be productive. Further, they were given leftover scraps/leeks to eat. No matter how many times they asked, they were never granted permission to escape with dignity and the spoils of the land. Can you imagine how they must have felt knowing that they and their ancestors were held captive? Or, that their children and grandchildren would only know slavery all their days? You see, an oppressor will not stop until your bloodline is either abolished or in complete torment. This is unfortunate but a sad reality that you must be cognizant of when you are dealing with an oppressor.

To deal with their oppressors, it had to be tough for the Israelites as they grappled with their mistreatment each day. However, they had to learn how to find peace during your endurance of injustice. If you have found that you are dealing with injustices like the Israelites in this modern day, be encouraged. Although slavery is not a focus of today’s time, there have been other forms of injustices noted and addressed at large in society and worldwide. You might not be completely free from oppressors but keep moving forward one day at a time.


Characteristics of an Oppressor

Oppressors are known for harsh treatment whether physical attacks, insults, verbal abuse, slander, put-downs, and even emotional mistreatment. Sometimes, oppressors will reject and neglect you to cause punishment, or will deny basic needs or desires as a form of keeping you down. Did you know that being ignored causes lower self-esteem than if someone is being punched in the face? Hence, you must be aware of the signs that your oppressors will perpetrate as they work towards shutting you down. Remember, if your oppressor really loved you or cared about you, they would show it.


Oppressor in Relationships

It is tough to realize that your oppressor is an oppressor when you are in a relationship. Usually, you would think an oppressor is a boss or someone not affiliated with family. However, many times, individuals find that they are either dating someone or are married to someone that is an oppressor. Unfortunately, people can change after they say their vows or when various circumstances take place within the relationships. This can lead to power struggles, abuse of power and even downright mockery of persons that said they love you. To recognize this situation, take a moment to reflect about the pros and cons regarding how your significant other treats you. Think about how they make you feel. Then, identify if your partner has characteristics of an oppressor. If this is true, seek marital counseling from a neutral source. Sometimes, going to a person who knows your family is tough because they can speak from a lens of bias, which would not help you in the long run. If you have gone to outside sources, done your best to be compliant and loving and yet nothing still works, then you know that there must be a change so you can walk in peace.


How to Forgive Your Oppressors

So, whether you are dealing with a boss, spouse, or another type of oppressor in a religious or business affiliation, here are some ways you can forgive your oppressor:

1.    Remember that they aren’t perfect

a.    I don’t care what your oppressor’s role is; they are not perfect. They are bound to mess up. Choose to forgive them so you can put these injustices behind you and move forward.

2.   Truly Empathize

a.    Why is your oppressor treating you the way that they are? Were they raised in a way that treated people of different gender, or ethnic backgrounds in a way that was abusive and oppressive? Did they experience some sort of trauma in their past that is impacting their ability to truly be respectful, caring, and loving?

3.   Refuse to Allow Your Oppressor a Negative Space in Your Mind and Heart

a.    When you forgive your oppressor, you are reliving yourself of negative energy. You are allowing them to be released, and in turn you are being released. Choosing to forgive them allows for you to focus on love towards others and love for yourself.


Conclusion

When you are trying to be free from oppression, the first step starts with forgiveness. Choose to forgive them and move forward by remembering that they are not perfect, truly empathizing with them, and refusing to allow them to have a negative mental or emotional space in your life. 

By India White April 8, 2025
Forgiveness: Walking in G.R.I.T. and Grace Forgiveness isn't for the faint of heart. It takes G.R.I.T.—Growth Mindset, Resilience, Self-Efficacy, and Time Management—to truly walk in forgiveness, especially when you've been wronged, mistreated, or misunderstood. But there's no greater example of gritty forgiveness than Jesus Himself. As He hung on the cross—suffering, bleeding, and abandoned—He didn’t curse His enemies. He didn’t demand justice in that moment. Instead, He looked toward heaven and said: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Let that sink in. The very people who had betrayed, mocked, beaten, and crucified Him were the ones He forgave. And He did it in real time, while the pain was still fresh. That’s Great Resilience In Time. And as followers of Christ, we’re called to do the same. We’re called to forgive those who have: • Abused us—physically, emotionally, or spiritually • Slandered us behind our backs • Taken advantage of our kindness • Lied to us, hurt us, or wronged us in ways words can’t capture Forgiveness doesn’t mean the pain was okay. It doesn’t mean you return to harmful situations. But it does mean we release people into God’s hands. We stop carrying the weight of bitterness. And we trust that nobody gets by—God is just, but He is also merciful. “I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” — Luke 5:32 God operates in mercy—not because people always deserve it, but because His heart is for restoration. And if we want God to operate in mercy toward us, we must be willing to pray that same mercy over those who have hurt us. Hence, I want to share with you 5 Tips for Operating in Forgiveness Through G.R.I.T. and Grace: 1. Growth Mindset: Choose to Learn, Not Linger Instead of replaying the pain, ask God what He wants to teach you through it. Every hurt can become holy ground if we allow it to transform us instead of trap us. Forgiveness is a chance to grow. Even when you find yourself lingering in the memories and wondering "What if?", choose to use the moments of hurt as an opportunity to heal and evolve into a greater version of you. 2. Resilience: Bounce Back with God’s Strength Resilience doesn’t mean you don’t feel the pain—it means you refuse to let it define you. Forgiveness builds spiritual stamina. Each time you choose grace, you build strength in your spirit. The enemy wanted that trial, setback, dissapointment to cause you to give up on God and yourself. However, you must believe that no weapon formed against you shall propser. Never allow Satan to take away your song or your purpose, no matter the weapon or vessel he chooses to attack you through. 3. Self-Efficacy: Believe You Can Forgive with God’s Help Forgiveness may feel impossible—but with God, you can do all things. Self-efficacy is about believing in your ability to move forward. Speak life over yourself: "With God’s help, I can forgive." This is not always an easy process but you can do it! Choose to speak positively about your situation. Tell God that you forgive them and take moments to think about what Jesus must have felt at the cross as he died for you. Sometimes, we are made to emulate the light of Christ so that others will have HOPE. That means we must be willing to be curicifed at thier hands for the Glory of God. However, be encouraged, for the Lord will restore you. 4. Time Management: Don’t Waste Time on Bitterness Bitterness drains energy and time. Let forgiveness help you refocus your time and emotional energy toward purpose, healing, and joy. Steward your time wisely—it’s too precious to spend in bondage. Take time for self-care. Cry it out, seek therapy, have an outlet that will help you develop and heal and mature in a healthy fashion. Understand that all of us fall short; people will most likely dissapoint you, so flow in grace. 5. Great Resilience In Time: Forgive Even When It Still Hurts Forgiveness is often a process, not a one-time event. It requires Great Resilience In Time —the ability to keep choosing grace, even when the pain is fresh. Jesus forgave while He was still on the cross. We, too, can learn to forgive even while healing. Through your forgiveness you'll find revelation that will bring your closer to your heavenly Father. Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts you can give—to others, yes, but also to yourself. It frees your heart. It releases your soul. It makes space for God to heal what others tried to break. Jesus didn’t wait for an apology. He forgave in real time—with G.R.I.T. and grace. So today, let’s strive to do the same. Let’s live with: • A growth mindset that says, “God can use even this.” • Resilience that says, “I will not be broken.” • Self-efficacy that says, “I can do this with God.” • Time management that says, “I will not waste one more second holding a grudge.” Let’s walk in Great Resilience In Time and extend the same mercy we so desperately need. Because forgiveness isn’t weakness. It’s worship. So, wipe you tears, forgive, reset, start over, and thrive through G.R.I.T. and Grace. Love, India Want more? Visit www.india-white.com to schedule a meeting or book me for an event. Want a copy of the Grit Workbook for Clergy (Pastors) Click here!
By India White April 3, 2025
### April Newsletter: A Month of Grit and Growth April is here, and it’s shaping up to be an exciting month filled with powerful opportunities to build grit, inspire educators, and impact students. From conferences to new resources, I’m thrilled to share what’s happening this month and how you can get involved. Speaking at MCTM’s Annual Math Conference in Minnesota I’m honored to present at the Minnesota Council of Teachers of Mathematics Annual Conference this month, where I’ll be diving into how to create a Gritty Thinking Classroom. In this session, we’ll explore how the G.R.I.T. framework aligns with Peter Liljedahl’s Building Thinking Classrooms, helping educators develop a culture of perseverance, resilience, and self-efficacy in their math students. If you’re attending, I’d love to connect and discuss ways to empower students through productive struggle. G.R.I.T. Workbooks and Resources The G.R.I.T. Workbook series continues to grow, providing teachers, students, and parents with practical tools to develop growth mindset, resilience, and time management. Whether you’re looking to strengthen your own grit or help students push through challenges, these workbooks offer actionable strategies to build confidence and perseverance. G.R.I.T. Online Courses and Masterclass For those looking to take a deeper dive into grit, we’re rolling out G.R.I.T. online courses and mini-workshops designed to help educators and leaders implement grit-based strategies in their schools and classrooms. Stay tuned for our Masterclass, which will provide an interactive learning experience on how to cultivate grit in both personal and professional settings. G.R.I.T. Podcast: Conversations That Inspire The G.R.I.T. Podcast continues to feature insightful conversations with educators, leaders, and changemakers who are passionate about building perseverance and resilience. Each episode offers motivation and strategies to help you stay committed to your goals and push through challenges. Be sure to tune in for inspiring discussions that fuel personal and academic growth. Stay Connected If you’re looking for more ways to engage with the G.R.I.T. movement, be sure to check out: - www.india-white.com – Explore my work, speaking engagements, and resources - www.gritacademy.us – Learn about G.R.I.T. Academy, where we help students and educators develop the skills they need to thrive This month is all about embracing grit, growth, and resilience. Whether through conferences, podcasts, or online learning, I’m excited to continue this journey with you. Let’s keep pushing forward and building a culture of perseverance together. Stay gritty and keep striving for greatness!
By India White April 3, 2025
Excited to Speak at MCTM’s Annual Math Conference: Building a Gritty Thinking Classroom! I can’t wait to present at MCTM’s Annual Math Conference this April in Minnesota. This opportunity is truly special because I’ll be diving into two of my passions—grit and Building Thinking Classrooms—to help educators create Gritty Thinking Classrooms that foster resilience, problem-solving, and perseverance in students. Why Grit Matters in the Math Classroom Math is not just about numbers and equations; it’s about persistence, self-efficacy, and growth mindset. So many students struggle with productive struggle, but when we intentionally build grit, they learn how to push through challenges rather than give up. By implementing Dr. India White’s G.R.I.T. framework, we help students: - Develop a growth mindset - Build resilience in problem-solving - Strengthen self-efficacy - Improve time management and perseverance Connecting Grit with Building Thinking Classrooms Peter Liljedahl’s Building Thinking Classrooms has transformed the way we engage students in math learning. When we merge BTC structures with grit, we create an environment where students: - Tackle challenging problems head-on - Collaborate with peers to build understanding - Learn to embrace struggle as part of growth - Develop confidence in their ability to succeed In my session, we’ll explore how BTC’s 14 elements align with grit and how teachers can create a culture of perseverance in their classrooms. See You in Minnesota! If you’re attending MCTM’s Annual Math Conference, I’d love to connect. Let’s talk about how to empower students to think, struggle, and grow. Together, we can build Gritty Thinking Classrooms that transform how students learn and engage with mathematics. Let’s get gritty! See you soon in Minnesota!
By India White March 25, 2025
๐ŸŒŸ Excited to share my VCTM recap video! ๐ŸŽฅ Join me as I engage with teachers during my keynote, discussing strategies to best support our 8th grade math students. Together, we can make a difference! ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ“š Check it out and let’s keep the conversation going! #drindiawhite #nctm #ncsm #vctm #vermont #nabse #naacp #education #doe
By India White March 25, 2025
Reflection on The Power of Grit Keynote to Vermont Teachers Speaking to the dedicated educators of Vermont about the Power of Grit was an inspiring and reaffirming experience. As I shared the pillars of grit—Growth Mindset, Resilience, Time Management, and Self-Efficacy—it was evident that these concepts resonated deeply with the teachers in the room. Their commitment to fostering perseverance and confidence in their students was both heartening and energizing. Throughout the keynote, I emphasized the transformative role of a growth mindset—how students who embrace challenges and see effort as a path to mastery are more likely to persist through difficulties. I could see educators nodding in agreement as they reflected on their own students' struggles and triumphs. Encouraging students to reframe failure as a learning opportunity is a crucial shift that builds not just better mathematicians, writers, and thinkers but also more resilient individuals. Resilience was another cornerstone of the discussion. I shared stories and strategies to help students push past obstacles and develop the endurance needed to navigate academic and personal challenges. The engagement in the room reaffirmed that teachers, too, are models of resilience, especially in today’s educational climate. One of the most practical elements of the keynote focused on time management—helping students (and educators) break down overwhelming tasks, set realistic goals, and prioritize effectively. The response to this section showed that time management remains a crucial skill, not only for students learning to structure their studies but also for teachers juggling multiple responsibilities. Finally, we explored the power of self-efficacy, that deep-seated belief that one’s efforts lead to success. We discussed ways to cultivate this mindset in students through intentional feedback, scaffolding, and celebrating small wins. Seeing the teachers reflect on how they could implement these strategies in their classrooms was incredibly rewarding. This keynote reaffirmed my belief that grit is not just a personal trait—it’s a culture that educators can foster in their classrooms, schools, and communities. Vermont’s educators left the session with new insights, actionable strategies, and a renewed commitment to equipping students with the perseverance and confidence needed for success. I am grateful for the opportunity to share this message, and I look forward to seeing the impact of their work in cultivating grit across the state. Thanks Vermont Rockstars. Stay gritty!
By India White March 25, 2025
โœจ I had a phenomenal time speaking for the VCTM Rockstars in Vermont! We dove into how to reach all learners and stay motivated through grit. ๐Ÿ’ช I can't wait to see the results from the grit assessment and framework! Stay gritty, y’all! ๐ŸŒŸ #drindiawhite #vctm #vermont #grit #educators #math
By India White March 25, 2025
๐ŸŒจ๏ธ Greetings from Vermont! Loving the beautiful snow! โ„๏ธ Can’t wait to get gritty with all you rockstars! Let’s do this! ๐Ÿ’ชโœจ #drindiawhite #grit #vermont #math #teachers #snow #nctm #ncsm #bwxme #nabse
By India White March 18, 2025
๐ŸŒŸ Super excited to announce that I’ll be the keynote speaker at the VCTM Annual Conference in beautiful Vermont! ๐ŸŽ‰ Huge thanks to the amazing VCTM rockstars for this incredible opportunity! Let’s dive into the power of grit together! ๐Ÿ’ชโœจ I can’t wait to share insights and connect with fellow educators, students, and math enthusiasts. Join us by registering below: https://vctm.wildapricot.org/event-5950535 Let’s make this an unforgettable experience! #drindiawhite #grit #tedx #vctm #teachers #students #math (I don’t own music copyright)
By India White March 18, 2025
Join us on the Let's Get Gritty Podcast with Dr. India White, featuring special guest Heidi Diercks, a retired educator, and life coach! Check out Heidi's coaching nuggets here :chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0?ui=2&ik=89c50e1d3a&attid=0.1&permmsgid=msg-f:1826500568311074330&th=19590896f43b0e1a&view=att&zw&disp=inline&acrobatPromotionSource=GmailNativeViewer Watch on Spotify: https://creators.spotify.com/.../Lets-Get-Gritty-Podcast... #drindiawhite #grit #tedx #lifecoach #education
By India White March 18, 2025
๐ŸŒŸ Super grateful to announce that I’ve been selected to speak at FCTM this year! ๐ŸŽ‰ Let’s dive into the topic of grit and its importance in education! ๐Ÿ’ชโœจ Be sure to register by visiting their website. A huge thank you to the FCTM leaders for this incredible opportunity! ๐Ÿ™Œ #DrIndiaWhite #Grit #TEDx #Math #Educators #Teachers #Students #FCTM #NCTM #NCSM
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